Introverts, Extroverts, and Home Improvements

Several months ago I had a casual conversation with my aunt (a licensed marriage and family therapist) about introverts and extroverts . She reminded me that an introvert is not necessarily someone who is quiet and anti-social, but rather someone who gains energy from alone time...what I like to call "re-grouping." Then she went on to say that an extrovert is not a person who is loud and always the life of the party but someone who is energized by being with others, someone who is not easily drained by being around people.

A light went off in my head as she explained the different criteria for introverts and extroverts.

I thought...I am an introvert. Stephen Grande is an extrovert. I had never thought of us quite like that before.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE people. But I must have down-time whether it be walking, reading, or just being at home doing nothing. What also falls into the category of down-time and re-grouping for me is working on my house, worshin', organizing, and family time. You know, tending to my nest. If I don't have this time I become a monster. I need it to re-charge so I can go out into the world and be social and productive. Most people do, I think.

Unlike me, Stephen Grande never tires of activity. He thrives on it. I have never asked him to do something such as an activity, trip, having company, etc and had him say "no." He is up for anything anytime anywhere.

All that being said, we have been at odds for the past few weeks/months/years about how to spend our free time. My mind immediately goes to cooking meals at home, long walks, doing laundry, no plans. He usually wants to do the opposite. He can always think of places to go and people to see.

That's a lot of background just for me to tell you that it was sort of "my weekend" around here. Stephen Grande agreed to make no plans, stay home, work on little house projects, and spend some quality family time ALL WEEKEND LONG! He couldn't have made me happier if he had taken me on a beach vacation. I had a great weekend doing lots of introverted things. Taking care of our house. Resting.

I think Stephen Grande got tired of my thanking him.

Below are some of the things we did this past weekend and how I felt as we relaxed, nested, "re-grouped," and accomplished some home projects.

First we (he) hung a chandler over our dining room table...oh joy.

Then we put a new light fixture in the bathroom...joy of all joys.

Next, I replanted our flower boxes...great peace came over my mind.

And Grande tied up loose ends on the porch...By this point, I could hardly bear the goodness. I felt so re-energized.

Lastly, we spent lots of quality time with this precious, wonderful, most handsomest 5 month old that ever was and ever will be...my spirits renewed!

Thank you Stephen Grande and Stephen Small for compromising...staying home and doing introverted things with me. I am one happy and re-energized mama.

Next weekend it will be my turn to compromise. Stephen Grande will probably make me do something like go to a rodeo...

Lets hope not.

Happy Wednesday!


leslie. said...

What a great weekend for y'all! Little Stephen is getting super cute by the way....and looking so much like you :)

LJM said...

SB great post! As a life long self proclaimed extrovert it is so true...there is a wonderful energy that comes from nest tending and other "introvert" like activities! So glad you got your "re-charge"!

Lynn Beck said...

I am so much like you!! Everyone thinks I'm an extrovert, but I need some down time and I love to get organized!

Stephen Grande's handiwork is great, by the way, and Baby Stephen is absolutely adorable.

MaryMartha said...

Awww, fun times in marriage! G is introvert. I'm extrovert. When we did our pre.marital counseling the man told us a trick on how to both get the time we needed to refuel.
1 weekend G plans what we do, I get to plan the next. It's a great plan when we implement it :)

Building Materials Supplies said...

Introverts, Extroverts, and Home Improvements

Thanks for sharing!

abbie said...

Love your thoughts on introvert/extrovert...It took me years to understand that as well. I am like you. I love being with people. Love it, love it, love it. But then--at a certain point, I'm depleted.

There's a great article I saw online a while back about this very thing--I'll try to find it for you.

Also, I have no idea if you'll feel this same way down the road, but the preschool season of motherhood can be a challenge for those like you & me...when those 3 hour afternoon naps are suddenly gone it's a whole new world. (I didn't realize until I got to that point in my motherhood that the 3 hour nap was a very important re-charge time for me.) So I had to adjust things to build in some "re-charge" time even without naps.

(oops, sorry for writing a book in this this comment box.) :-)

Anonymous said...

I am reading this article second time today, you have to be more careful with content leakers. If I will fount it again I will send you a link

Sara Walker said...

Cute post! Maybe I'm an introvert too! I don't necessarily need to be competely alone (without Chris), but I definitely gain energy staying at home and "getting things done"!

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